This blog has been my home page for months. Every day, I open my web browser and the dark screen reminds me that I have not yet ventured into that which is ominous to me: pure vulnerability. I am vulnerable because these ideas, words and language are me. Whether grammatically, theologically, social correct — each word, each paragraph, each dangerous idea represents me—right or wrong, left or right, heretical or truth. This blog is an attempt to sort through this amalgamation of ideas that permeate my thoughts daily. To wade through the confluence of rivers of thought to bring clarity in my own mind and maybe to the mind of anyone that reads.
Ironically, this post was started for the sake of anonymity: for the sake of safety when dealing with ideas that have not traditionally been received well by fellow members of the Christian body. It is ironic in that I had created this blog months ago and have postponed posting anything, knowing that my ideas, words, language will be so intensely scrutinized by those viewing this blog.
I tend to hold words and thoughts until the idea is complete. Anything other than a perfected idea was perceived as premature, immature.
However, as I continue to engage with those around me, I am coming to realize that ideas are never
perfect. Each idea is shaped and formed much like nature. Natural formations like mountains, valleys, plains are all crafted by the rest of nature whittling away at it. Raging torrents erode the rock of the earth to form valleys and other rivers. Mountains are pushed higher as the earth below provides the necessary pressure and help the mountain grasp the heavens.
So too in the everyday dynamics of life are words, ideas, people shaped, crafted, even manipulated by those forces external to their own. On the grandest scale, our finiteness, our humanity restricts our ability to
engage. We are only so capable of conversing with the universe. We only have words, or expressions, or gestures to imitate, regurgitate, converse with. My ability to engage even the seemingly infinite reaches of my own mind–creatively, artistically, intellectually–are confined to my mind’s ability to be creative, artistic, intellectual: seemingly infinite; realistically, tragically finite. How much more tangible are these limits when you’re trying to engage others with similar constraints due to their very nature? And even more, engaging with the actual infinite: God.
This blog then is an attempt to hash out truths, realities, and ideas. I want to talk about everything, knowing that I’ll get a lot wrong, and how they relate to me as a person of faith.
I’m open to conversations. If you find my ideas intriguing or appalling, let me know. But forgive me if my thoughts are incomplete or wrong. I am just trying to understand myself, my God and His universe, people, presence and truth as best I can.
I borrowed the below code of conduct from Sojourners (www.sojo.net). I think it’s appropriate for both me the writer and anyone who reads to abide by this.
Comment Code of Conduct
I will attempt to express myself with civility, courtesy, and respect, especially toward those with whom I disagree—even if I feel disrespected by them. (Romans 12:17-21)
I will express my disagreements with other ideas without insulting, mocking, or slandering them personally. (Matthew 5:22)
I will not exaggerate others’ beliefs nor make unfounded prejudicial assumptions based on labels, categories, or stereotypes. I will always extend the benefit of the doubt. (Ephesians 4:29)
Please, try and do the same.